Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal in Relationships
Trust is the foundation and glue in of any healthy relationship. Without trust, you lose what makes you feel safe, secure, and loved in your partnership. When trust is broken, couples can find it challenging to repair it on their own. Betrayal can come in many forms, whether that is lying, breaking a promise, or infidelity. Regardless of what the betrayal is, emotional wounds are created, and this makes it difficult to move forward.
Understanding the Impact of Betrayal
The Emotional Toll of Betrayal
Betrayal can cause someone to feel a wide range of emotions. Some common emotions after being betrayed are anger, sadness, disappointment, confusion, rejection, and fear. Internal thoughts, such as "Am I good enough?" or "Did I deserve this," can cross someone's mind. Feelings such as inadequacy, self-doubt, and damaged self-esteem can also occur. Having these emotions and trusting again can be challenging. This is why therapy can help you process these emotions and feel whole again.
The Importance of Acknowledging the Betrayal
If you're the one who betrayed your partner, acknowledging the impact of it is the first step and taking responsibility. If you're on the other end and have a partner betray you, it is time to process these emotions and determine how they impacted you. Feeling these tough feelings isn't easy, and why therapy can help when you're processing these emotions for the partner who betrayed you, giving yourself time to process guilt, shame, and other emotions that surface. Both individual and couples counseling can help.
Steps to Healing and Rebuilding Trust
Communicate Openly and Honestly
Communication is one of the main reasons couples fight, and it becomes even more of an issue post-betrayal. Both partners must be willing to communicate their needs, feelings, and concerns with an open heart and be willing to listen. Being honest and transparent about past actions and moving forward with trust and commitment.
Going to Therapy and Seeking Help
Healing after a betrayal takes a toll on our hearts and minds. It is challenging and emotional. A therapist who specializes in relationships, infidelity, and couples can help you work through these emotions and start the healing process. At Bridgefield Counseling, we can help you through this tough time, whether you're seeking individual counseling after being betrayed or couples counseling, to work with your partner through this and rebuild the lost trust. Therapists can provide you with the tools, techniques, and guidance for rebuilding your relationship and improving your communication with each other along the way.
Set Your Boundaries and Stick to Them
Betrayals are a step over our boundaries in a relationship. It is important to set and clarify your boundaries to protect yourself. Creating boundaries for yourself after a betrayal will help you define your wants and needs in the relationship.
Examples of boundaries after a betrayal:
Limiting contact with the person who betrayed you
Setting an expectation of honesty
Establishing consequences after the betrayal
Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is essential if you want to work things out with your partner. Even if you decide to go your separate ways after the betrayal, forgiving your ex is part of the healing process. Forgiving doesn't mean excusing their behavior or the betrayal but letting go of any anger or resentment that keeps you from living life and holding you back. Forgiveness is part of the process and takes time. It is a building block in moving toward a positive direction, either with or without your partner.
Be Patient and Give it Time
Patience is key when rebuilding your relationship after betrayal. If you're going solo without your partner, then you need to have patience with yourself in forgiveness and rebuild yourself, whether that is self-esteem or the parts of you that were broken from the betrayal. If you're moving forward with your partner and want to repair what was broken, working on yourself and your partner working on themselves is part of the healing process, as this doesn't happen overnight. You will see that healing will begin over time by putting in the work.
Moving Forward
Rebuilding Trust Takes Effort
If you decide to stay with your partner or want to consider if you should stay or go, discernment counseling is also a good option. Otherwise, rebuilding trust in a relationship requires both parties to put in the effort, or it won't work. Rebuilding trust requires a sense of willingness to work through those problematic, hard-to-reach emotions, and why having a couples counselor to help along the way can do wonders for rebuilding trust and opening up those lines of communication.
Focus on the Present and the Future
Acknowledging the betrayal is one of the first steps in moving forward, but accepting it happened coupled with setting new boundaries that may have not existed before is essential—focusing on the present with your partner and moving toward a brighter future. Dosing on the past of what happened can affect moving forward in a happy and healthy direction, taking more time to move forward. Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on the present while rebuilding trust to strengthen your partnership.
Practice Self-Care
Your self-care is important during the healing process of betrayal. Being betrayed is draining emotionally, and practicing a healthy self-care routine and adding self-care activities is important during this time. Find time for loved ones, hobbies, and your own individual therapy. Take some time for yourself while you rebuild trust in your relationship and work on your self-care, too.
Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity
Rebuild Intimacy
Rekindling the romance and intimacy after a relationship has endured betrayal can feel straining. Rebuilding intimacy takes time and lots of effort; in conjunction with couples counseling, sex therapy to repair those betrayal wounds can be beneficial to your relationship. Things like going on dates, spending quality time together, exploring your love languages, and being as open as you can while rebuilding this trust are partare of rekindling intimacy.
Be Transparent and Honest
If you're ready to move forward after betrayal, start on a clean slate of honesty with your partner. Being prepared in couples counseling means being open about your actions, answering questions they may have, and working through these issues together. Schedule a session today if you're ready to be held accountable and commit to your partner.
Schedule a Session at Bridgefield Counseling
If you live in Texas and are ready to rebuild your relationship after betrayal or seeking individual counseling in divorce or breakup recovery, we are here to help. Call or text (512) 790-0019 to schedule a session or email contact@bridgefieldcounseling.com. You can also schedule by clicking the button below.
